If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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