guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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