She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
