it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
