that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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