i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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