fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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