U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
