you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
