i don't like sucking hair
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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