I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
