I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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