i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
