I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
