Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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