what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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