Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
