Are we in a gay sports bar?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
