if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
