quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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