I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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