12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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