he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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