you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
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I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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