Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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