My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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