Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
if only i could text you this smell
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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