Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
