should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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