sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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