after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize