Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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