kristin has been a bad kristin
My hand turned me down
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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