Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
