did you get engaged???
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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