Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize