I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
