I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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