I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize