how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.