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the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
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