Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.