New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.