I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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