she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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