If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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