i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
