We're facebook friends in real life
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
