I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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