he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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