I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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