i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
