i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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