i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just puked most of my soul out..
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