i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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