So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
