I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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