The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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